Monthly Archives: November 2013

a simple conversation

All but one of our dogs likes to watch out the window and bark. I’m sure our neighbors love this. This is what I imagine a typical bark session would sound like if our dogs could actually speak English.

Dusty: who believes she is, in fact, a princess
Avast! Who goes there? Who dares pass near the boundaries of our royal domain without paying proper homage? Stop and address me properly, knave!

Ripley: a small dog who thinks she’s a big dog
WHO IS IT?  WILL THEY EAT US?WHO IS IT? CAN WE EAT THEM? WHO IS IT?

Domino: rolls over, opens one eye and then goes back to sleep.

Dusty: Oh no! They’re passing by without acknowledging our grandeur. I must bark louder. WHO GOES THERE? WHO GOES THERE?

Ripley: WHO IS IT? ARE THEY GONE YET? OH NO, THEY’RE LOOKING AT US! GRRRRR, I WILL BITE YOU STRANGER! GRRRRR! <throws herself at the window> CAN I BITE, EM SIS, CAN I? IF ONLY THIS WINDOW WEREN’T IN THE WAY! THAT’S RIGHT, YOU BETTER WALK AWAY!

Domino: <snore, snore, drool.  Rolls over, wakes up> What’s going on? Barks once as the clueless pedestrians stroll out of sight. “Oh look, I scared them off.” <rolls over and goes back to sleep>